“O God I’m a mess.” I write that in my prayer journal periodically. That particular entry was on July 23rd. I had watched a movie on the 22nd that reminded me of the sins of my youth and the brokenness of the people all around us. The movie was not indecent in any way but what it reminded me of caused me to be overwhelmed with guilt. I felt a deep sense of shame. That morning I cried off and on until lunch. I was trying to prepare a message on loving one another, maybe some of you remember me saying, “People are messy. I am a people. I am messy.” According to one website, to one degree or another guilt and shame affect and/or afflict 96% of the US population. The other 4% are sociopaths. The inability to experience guilt and shame is dangerous; how that inability develops is a subject for the psychologists. My point is that most of us experience varying degrees of guilt and/or shame at various points in our lives. Some of that is false and some is true. The Covenant Eyes website shares this helpful distinction…”Guilt is an awareness of failure against a standard. Shame is a sense of failure before the eyes of someone. In other words, guilt is about disobedience to a law or code, but shame is how I perceive others see me (or how I see myself). Powlison goes on to define the difference between true and false guilt. If I know I should treat people with kindness and patience, and instead I am continually irritable and I lose my temper, I should feel guilt. This is true guilt. But if I have four preschoolers at home and I believe photo teams from House Beautiful should be able to show up at any moment to a spotless house, I might feel guilty because my house looks like an EPA disaster site. Here is a case of false guilt because I’m failing to live up to an artificial standard. There can also be both true and toxic shame. If I have sinned against God and offended Him, or if I have sinned against another and hurt my relationship with them, I should feel a sense of shame. Shame is a healthy heart-response to the fact of a torn relationship. If, however, my sense of shame does not reflect reality, then there is a problem. If I have not actually done anything to incur someone’s disfavor, but I believe I have, this could lead to false shame. Or if I wrongly believe that my actions have led to an irreparable breach, then I might react to my sense of shame by hiding myself—much the same way Adam and Eve did in the garden after eating the forbidden fruit.” (David Powlison/Luke Gilkerson, covenanteyes.com)
Sorry this is so long, (I’m feeling guilt over a perceived standard ), but I think it is important to see all this in light of the gospel. What Jesus accomplished through His cross, resurrection and ascension is the solution to both my guilt and shame. As a sinner, I had violated a standard and I had failed before Someone. I was guilty before God because I had rebelled against His good law. However, in Christ I am a dearly loved child and my sins are buried in the depths of the sea, removed forever. The guilt of those sins of long ago was really dealt with by Jesus’ provision and rather than being ashamed before God I am invited to come boldly to His throne to obtain mercy and help in time of need. What a change! The benefits of this gift of God are eternal. I can never be separated from the love of God in Christ Jesus because His work was accepted by Father and because He is, I am. We’re going to celebrate these truths at Communion this coming Sunday and if you are guilty before God I hope you will receive His gift and if you have, I pray you’ll live in the light of His glorious provision!