If I was teaching communication skills I would use our text for Sunday as a classic illustration of formulating an answer before actually hearing what the other person said. We've all done it. Someone is "sharing" with us but we are not really listening, we are thinking about what we are going to say. That usually results in tension. Sometimes we answer a question that hasn't been asked. Sometimes we jump to conclusions that were never intended. Sometimes we get mad over what we thought the person said and missed what he/she actually said! Empathic listening is a skill we could all work on. Empathic listening has two key components; 1) Reflection and 2) Rephrasing. First, we should reflect on the emotion of the person who is speaking without demeaning comments or condemnation about the emotion that is present. Telling someone they "shouldn't be mad, sad or blue," doesn't really get them anywhere. Emotions are funny and can't be switched on and off at someone's suggestion or command. 2) Rephrasing means we try to say back to the person what they said to us in our own words. That requires listening. I am bringing this up this week because of the text we're in. The disciples, especially James and John, were not very good at empathic listening. In Matthew 20:17, Jesus told them about His suffering. Without what appears to be any attempt at reflection or comfort, James, John and their mother Salome ask for special favor in the Kingdom. Jesus had already promised that they would receive thrones; they informed Him they wanted the ones on the left and right of Jesus. Wow, talk about a failure to listen! No comment was made about His statement. No prayers offered for His comfort. They were more interested in their own glory than His suffering. But here is the beautiful part, Jesus answers them with gracious reminders. Even when people don't listen to us or seem to care how we feel, we can be like Christ. He did not "revile" but left all things to Him who judges rightly. Self-seeking and self-absorption is hard to "get out." It's a tough stain, a deep sliver, an entrenched habit. Jesus gives us an example of how to respond but that doesn't mean we should keep failing that "grace may abound." We should become better listeners but even when people don't listen to us, we have a Model of grace to help us respond. Jesus knew the Father really knew, and that was enough for Him. Are you listening?